The truth
I’ve decided to choose neither, and I have my reasons. I’m sorry.
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The last lap
This is it. 2 more days to A levels. Never thought I would have come this far.
It’s been a grueling 3 weeks with mixed emotions. Helplessness, frustrations, exhaustion, stress, disappointments - pratically everything except happiness. Since I enter JC, I find myself constantly on the quest to do well, but no matter how hard I try I always find myself lagging behind and end up trying to get over all the disappointments that comes straight at me. I find it so unfair and annoying that I always have to work twice as hard to achieve barely mediocre results.
I know I shouldn’t be feeling this way but I still feel unprepared at this point of time. I tell myself I can get those As, but somehow at the back of my mind, the thought of scoring mostly Us for the bulk of the past 1 and a half years still lingers. It’s crushing every bit of confidence I have.
But I need to stop thinking about it. There were times before where I had the luxury of time to think about it, where I had the chance to try harder and do well for the next exam, but not now. This is my only chance to do well, and I can’t afford to screw it up. I MUST do well.
This is not the time to think or even feel. That’s being weak, and I know I can’t afford to be weak, not when everyone else wants to be stronger or they probably already are.
The thought of facing the papers makes me all jittery inside, but I guess there is nothing I can do except to embrace it. I need to rule out all the negative thoughts and make this fight worthwhile.
Go Jan, think nothing but positive thoughts. You can do it!
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This is too damn hard
Sometimes people just don’t understand;
That’s when you realize you’re all alone, that they’ve never been there in the first place.
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Let the moments last
Grandma’s 83rd birthday
That was 2 Saturdays ago. Headed to Aunt Alice’s place after Econs Camp 2 for family gathering cum celebration. Great time catching up with cousins and playing guitar hero! Grandma looked rather weak and frail that day ): Just hope she gets better and stay healthy always!
Graduation Ceremony
16th Oct 2009 marks the last official school day for us before the A level exams. Morning assembly was in the hall, followed by prelims results analysis by Mr Kwek and prize presentation for most improved award and people who got into the honour roll :)
Headed to our usual classroom for the last civics tutorial lesson. Mrs Tan was really cute to give all of us a bag filled with an apple, pencil, vitamin C sweets, chocolates and some motivational message. Each item had a meaning to it :D Then it was the giving out of prelim results slips and camwhoring!
The ceremony began at 10am back in the hall and I must say it was a really memorable one!
Love the farewell video from the various departments alot, especially the ones from chemistry, GP, maths and physics :) I swear we were laughing our ass off the whole time!! :D Went on youtube to search for the videos but only managed to find one from the physics department:
After that was reception at the atrium and mainly photo-taking sessions with random people and teachers around :)
With our principal, Mr Kwek :)
Vice-principal, Ms Ng :)
Look how widely Moni is smiling, thanks to our help! Hahahahaha!!
Mr Nandwani
Mr Derek Lee!
Ny’s very own Mr Gurmit Singh! (yes that’s his real name)
Mr Seah!
Mr Johnathan Ng
Awwwww so sweet~
Ms Teng :)
Alright, will leave it till after As to blog about my 2 years in JC. Haha :)
So this week is the start of our study break. I’ve been going back to school for the past few days for consultations, extra lectures and mock exams. It was really exhausting, and today is the day my body decided it couldn’t take it anymore ): Down with flu and throat infection now, so I stayed home the whole day. Opportunity cost: missed chem and physics consultation, chem lecture and physics mock exam. What a time to fall sick. Seriously! It sucks cause I know I should be studying but end up spending most of my time sleeping. Another day wasted just like that. Just hope I get well by tomorrow so everything gets back to normal. Okay, will attempt to do some work now though head’s still spinning like mad. Sigh.
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Bordering on insanity
Random thoughts:
1) I’m freaking pissed at myself now because for the third consecutive time of the week I fell asleep before I could start studying.
2) I even dreamt of chemistry. 1 moldm-3 of N2 occupies the container..yada yada yada.
3) It’s 12.15AM. I’ve got 3 chem papers to be done by tomorrow but I’ve only completed 1.
4) Carelessness is driving me nuts. I mistook HCl for Cl2 and ∑r for ∑r².
5) I’m so dead for tomorrow’s physics and econs consultations because I haven’t prepared for it.
6) To top it off, I had diarrohea today.
7) Studying is unhealthy. It causes dark eye circles, pimple outbreaks, indigestion and worse of all, it makes me fat.
8) Panic attack. 26 days left, and I still feel so unprepared.
9) School in another 7 hours time.
10) Goodnight people!
P.S. Thanks for the supplements RW :)
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